How to cope with failure.

Not an easy thing at the best of times.

Including when we’re holding ourselves back from even trying something new or stepping up to that next level of competence.

Those who embrace a growth mindset when trying something new, will be like: Oh bummer, that didn’t go terribly well, let’s have another go!

Unfortunately, because there is such a heavy bias against women who fail or make mistakes, we tend to hold back from stepping up or stepping into the arena, for fear of being so heavily criticised. Just look at the backlash there was following the incident with the NZ Naval Ship that sank on the Samoan coast, when people found out the captain was female. 

So, how do we move on from this?

One of the findings Claire Zammit made when she did her PhD in Transformational Learning was that women often identify with a failure, setback or mistake they have experienced. Instead of thinking we’ve had an experience of failure, we think to ourselves: I am a failure.

We really must change this way of thinking, for our own sakes. So, next time you have a setback, experience failure or make a mistake, remind yourself of this:

That failure or incident has an identity of its own, it is separate to me. I experienced it but it is not who I am. I can learn from this and I can grow from this.

Women have so much to offer the world, so much to contribute, the most juicy creativity, sense of meaning and beautiful ability to connect.

Please bring yours forward into the world, we need it.